Whilst our practice offering psychotherapy hypnotherapy and counselling in the city of Salisbury, we have seen a great many changes over the years at Mustard Therapy & Coaching. Even the style in which we work has adapted to the changing world we live in.
One thing that hasn't changed in our work with our adult and children clients, is the constant of what children need. Our adult clients are often grappling with how not always getting what they needed is a loss that must be grieved in order to move forward. They can then adapt their brain and nervous system towards knowing that they no longer need to protect themselves in the way they learned to back then. That their adult self has all the resources now to be everything that their child needs.
When we work with parents, children and young people, we have the opportunity to provide a toolbox of giving them the toolbox to have secure attachments in the present so that they can regulate their emotions themselves in the future.
About 8 years ago now, I gave an interview with 'Stephen Conway Live' regarding the mental health of children for all new and existing parents out there to help them be 'good enough' parents and how to best help our children when they are reacting to life. Whilst older now, this video is still very much relevant today. (Even my hairstyle is much as it is today, but I would love to still have skin that hasn't continued to age in the 8 intervening years!)
Children need to learn that emotions are an important part of being human. This means experiencing their parents expressing their emotions too! Of course they need to see that as parents, we are still capable of attending to their needs.
Children need to feel listened to, seen, heard and recognised as important in the family dynamic. Whist some of the challenges that they face may seen trivial to us in the great scheme of life, but the impact on them can be enormous and so we must avoid dismissing their fears and anxieties.
It is in childhood that challenges help us to grow, to experience rupture and repair, to learn to have hope that even on the darkest days we have people around who will support us.
Having someone to rely on to be there for us-not necessarily to fix it, but simply to be there helps a child to co-regulate and lays the foundations for secure attachment in relationships in future.
Follow the link https://youtu.be/68bSvSN-HC0 to watch the interview and learn how to best help your child become emotionally resilient.
