First of all…realise that we all have intrusive thoughts at times. It is part of being human, so don’t allow intrusive thoughts to send you into a panic spiral. Instead acknowledge they are present and focus on managing them in the present.
Who taught your ‘intrusive thoughts’ parrot to speak?
Notice that intrusive thoughts are never positive, supportive, encouraging.
Imagine you were given a parrot had been taught to say kind words, empathetic greetings, things that made you smile or feel good; whilst clever that it is imitating speech, but it has no knowledge, wisdom or insight as to the effect that it is having on you. In order words it has no intention to help you feel good.
However if someone in a previous relationship, a partner, parent, a bully from the past or maybe even a teacher had been constantly pointing out your flaws, constantly putting you down, giving you messages that you are not good enough..the parrot in your head may be imitating them. Therefore with the reflection and insight you have now, recognise that what the parrot was taught to say was not right back then, so why are you listening to it now in terms of intrusive thoughts?
Give your parrot some new speech that reflects your self worth and acknowledges that you are good enough.
We are allowing whoever taught it the intrusive thoughts parrot in the past to affect the way we live our lives –the way we behave towards others, how we are, what we think about others, what we think about the world, and how we think and feel about ourselves. They didn’t deserve the power then, and they certainly don’t now or in your future. Be consistent and the intrusive thoughts parrot will eventually get fed up and fly off.
Manage intrusive thoughts about comparing ourselves with others
Notice the intrusive thoughts bias of who you are comparing yourself to. For example if you are telling yourself you never achieve anything, you are likely to be noticing only the people who have talked publicly about their acheivements. If you are telling yourself that you are wasting your life, you will notice only the people who seem to have been everywhere, done everything and more.
So acknowledge your intrusive thoughts are biasing the sample you are comparing yourself with. If you are basing what people are saying on social media, acknowledge that most people display their ‘airbrushed lives’ on there. They will rarely post about failures or their own intrusive thoughts.
Intrusive thoughts filter out evidence that doesn’t fit our negative self beliefs
Maybe you find yourself downplaying or even ignoring compliments.
If you have a belief that, for example, you are not good enough, you are likely to have ignored evidence to the contrary and continue to do so.
Write down achievements and compliments from the past; anything that disputes your intrusive thoughts. Challenge the seeming confirmatory evidence as it is not going to be the full picture. We are all human, none of us are perfect so allow mistakes and failures as they are all part of our growing and developing as a person.
If your intrusive thoughts are particularly intrusive or distressing, please do seek professional help from a psychotherapist, preferably one who is a hypnotherapist also. That way we can work effectively with stopping the emotional brain resisting long term change.
