When we become a new parent it rocks our world. It is a huge transition that, even if longed for, can leave us doubting ourselves, our ability to be a new parent, and wonder if we are doing everything wrong.
Trust me, as a new parent, you are doing fine.
The adjustment period is tough for all new parents, as with any major adjustment you need to give yourself time.
At Mustard Therapy & Coaching we talk about the birth of a mother, and the birth of a father.
Whilst being a parent is the real you, it is a part of you that never existed before.
It is a new role requiring new skills and a completely new set of rules.
These new little beings don’t come with a rulebook and no matter how honed you feel your problem-solving skills are, becoming a parent will challenge those skills to well beyond their limits.
This beautifully written letter reminds you as a new parent to give yourself a break…to not be too hard on yourself…to give yourself time to adjust.
“Dear Mummy and Daddy,
Please keep this letter from me in a place where you can read it and re-read it when things are rough and you are feeling down. Please don’t expect too much from me as a newborn baby, or too much from yourselves, as parents. Give us both six weeks as a birthday present, six weeks for me to grow, develop, mature, and become more stable and predictable – six weeks for you to rest and relax and allow your body to get back to normal. Please feed me when I am hungry, I never knew hunger in your womb and clocks and time mean little to me. Please hold, cuddle, kiss, touch, stroke and croon to me. I was always held closely in your womb and have never been left alone before. Please forgive me if I cry a lot. I am not a tyrant who was sent to make your life miserable, the only way I can tell you I’m not happy is with my cry. Bear with me and in a short time, as I mature, I will spend less time crying and more time socialising. Please take the time to find out who I am, how I differ to you and how much I can bring to you. Watch me carefully and I’ll tell you which things soothe, console and please me. Please remember I am resilient and can withstand the many natural mistakes you will make with me. As long as you make them with love I cannot be harmed. Please don’t be disappointed when I’m not the perfect baby you expected nor be disappointed with yourselves when you are not the perfect parents. Please take care of yourself, eat a balanced diet, rest, and exercise so that when we are together you have the patience and energy to take care of me. The cure for a fussy baby is more rest for Mum. Please take care of your relationship with each other. What good is family bonding if there is no family left for me to bond with? Keep the “Big Picture” in mind. I’ll be like this for a very short time, though it feels like forever to you now. Although I may have turned your life upside down, please remind yourselves that things will be back to normal before too long. Enjoy me – I will never be this little again.”
If you feel you would like to speak to one of our therapists about support for new parents, please call us on 07754 303987 or email sharon@diligent-platinum-donkey.5-134-9-19.cpanel.site. We will be happy to have a chat about the support options available.
