It is not often in life that we get to meet our childhood hero, never mind be part of an intimate audience hearing them open up about their personal journey towards healing trauma. I had the absolute privilege of doing just this earlier this week.
Alanis Morissette was the soundtrack of my teenage years. Inspirational for being a singer, songwriter, musician, record producer, and actress. And of course was the only woman ever to play God wearing a tutu (watch the film ‘Dogma’ if you don’t believe me!).
However in our annual Healing Trauma conference in Oxford, she wanted to be heard as a woman fascinated by psychology philosophy and neuroscience, as a loving mother, as a trauma survivor.
Alanis discussed the power of psychotherapy in healing trauma, herself having been a victim of sexual assault, self harm and an eating disorder. She embraced the power of a journey towards self wholeness. Recognising we have many parts and identities she described wholeness as accepting all of these parts and why they show up for you. In psychotherapy we recognise that all parts are trying to protect us in some way. Whilst it is tempting to dislike a part or want to separate from it, we need instead to befriend snd give it a voice to listen to what it wants to say.
Alanis recalled being labelled in the 1980s as “the angry person”. She recognised that having her music out there meant people saw one side of her and assumed it was all parts of her-of course that was not true.
Alanis spoke of her emotional scars of growing up in the public eye and in a narcissistic household. Healing trauma has been a lifelong quest. Beyond music, she has become an advocate for trauma recovery-speaking out on the importance of self-compassion and emotional expression. She describes herself as a highly sensitive person and an empath which helps enormously with human connection.
Alanis spoke about her belief of how our pains and trauma are so often played out in relationships and how healing trauma is also found in relationships. Her human connections as a boss, as a mum, as a friend, a partner both fascinates and enriches her. She anchors to reading and disclosed that she often has six books with her at any one time!
Her values of connection with God/other/self, laughter, community and being on the leading edge of conversations about mental health and psychotherapy shone through in how passionately she talked about these areas.
What was so humbling for me about the whole experience is a reminder that we are all human beings that deserve and need to be heard for all our different facets and identities.
And for all the content creators out there, Alanis said “I don’t believe in writer’s block. If there is a blank page then it is time to get a sandwich!”
