Ii is so common in our therapy practise to see our clients look for self worth in their relationships with other people, in their job or occupation in life, in their environment… However what we can fail to realise is that self worth needs to come from within before we find self worth reflected in our external world. Change may be important but self compassion and acceptance comes first.
You may have come across the story of the Koh-i-noor Diamond before. This story is a great metaphor for looking for self worth within before you try to find it elsewhere.
Self worth is not found elsewhere
Several hundred years ago there was a farmer called Ali who worked very hard for not much more than enough to keep him and his family alive. One day a monk came to his door, begging for food. Ali invited the monk to join his family for their evening meal and afterwards the monk told Ali stories about the outside world and about the fabulously rich people who lived in cities. They dressed in fine clothes and covered themselves in gold and diamonds. Ali said he did not know what diamonds were or why they made their owners so rich.
The monk looked at Ali for a long moment, then replied, “A diamond is a drop of sunlight that has been trapped underground, where it has solidified. When it is dug up from the ground and polished, it outshines everything around it. It is hard to find but when you have it, others will pay you a lot of money for it.”
Ali said he wanted one and asked the monk where he could look for such a diamond. “Why do you want diamonds?” asked the monk. “I want to be very rich,” said Ali. “I am tired of this hard life.” Ali left his family in the care of a friend and went on his travels, looking for diamonds.
Money and possessions will not buy us happiness or self worth
He went from country to country, looking for those precious diamonds but his search was fruitless and soon he had used up all the money he had made from the sale of his farm. In despair he threw himself into the sea and was never seen again.
Meanwhile the man who had bought Ali’s farm was one day watering his animals in the stream that ran through the farm, when he saw a flash of light in the water. He pulled out a black stone that had a bright eye which caught the light. He took the stone into his house and put it on the table then forgot about it until one day the same monk who had visited Ali came by again. When he entered the house, he noticed the black stone and saw it flash in the light.
Excitedly he shouted, “A diamond! A diamond! Has Ali returned from his travels?” The farm’s new owner said Ali had disappeared but that there were many more such stones in the stream. And that was how the Golconda Diamond Mine was discovered, possibly the richest mine of its time and the source of the magnificent Koh-i-noor Diamond, which is now part of the British Crown Jewels.
Happiness and self worth is an inside job
If Ali had looked in his own yard instead of searching the world, he would have found greater riches than he could have ever imagined!
Therapy can help you find your inner self worth
We witness people everyday have their ‘aha’ moment and find their Koh-i-noor diamond in their own backyard.
